Tag Archives: Tell us your story

Online Shaming

Read a fascinating article about women who shame men online as revenge for harassment. It’s a common problem now, in the age of technology. People often harass each other (because that’s what it is we need not beat around the bush), in online environments. Though people do not often pay attention to what is or is not considered illegal, is online shaming really a good method of altering behavior? Or does it encourage that behavior in a world where the motto is “no publicity is bad publicity?”

An exerpt from The article (which can be read here):

Thirty years ago, a woman in Ramadei’s situation would have no way of determining the identity of a customer like Lederman beyond flipping through the phone book. But today, as We Are Social reports, 40 percent of the world’s population is active on the Internet, with those users operating over 2 billion active social media accounts.

Mind you this article is written from the bias of females who have a passionate investment into their cause, but hey bring up some interesting points. One suggestion they offer:

Perhaps we can’t shame men on the Internet, then, because many of them cannot feel shame, at least within the context of current social structures. Silvan Tomkins observed that shame is a feeling that emerges when enjoyment is interrupted: When we’re caught as children with our hands in the cookie jar, we feel shame because we still want the cookie even though we know we’re not supposed to have it.

If women are the cookies of the Internet, then, they’re cookies that men never feel like they can’t have. Even the tersest of responses on OKCupid is still giving an aggressive user exactly what he wants: interaction. Men’s enjoyment of women—of their bodies, their words, and even their distress—is often so thorough and so adaptable that posting their messages or threatening to call out their behavior online has little to no effect. In the absence of meaningful consequences for misogynistic behavior, many men can afford to be cavalier and carefree about their online personas.

I think everyone feels that way about their online personas. People think they can still hide behind the impression they give on their social media sites, so they become apathetic about the repercussions they could have. It’s as if the online world has stunted the maturity of some people, and has offered them some kind of emotional detachment from any virtual world gone real world consequences.

It is as if they have forgotten that we are dealing with real people, with real feelings, that can really call the cops. Not to mention the emotional effects this can have on both sides. To both parties. Is the male actually feeling shame? Is the female suffering repercussions from haters because of her choice? Is he? We can not know fully since we are not living the lives that these people are, but it is surely is having some kind of effect on their life. They are both humans with dignity after all.

What are your thoughts on online shaming? Have you done it before? Have you been a victim of it? Tell us your story.